6 days ago

#191 How to dehoard when you feel defeated

Feeling defeated by dehoarding? I’ve been there, and I’m trying to get out of it, so in this episode I unpack what’s really behind that sense of hopelessness, breaking it down into manageable pieces, and sharing practical steps for moving forward - even when it all feels impossible. If you’re stuck, overwhelmed, or just too tired to start, you’re not alone. So let’s talk about some concrete things you can try.

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  • Feeling Defeated by Dehoarding
  • Host’s recent struggle with feeling defeated and hopeless
  • Common reasons for feeling defeated:
  • The enormity of the task
  • Personal life challenges and lack of time
  • Breaking down what “defeated” means for individuals
  • Self-Reflection and Identifying Obstacles
  • Using self-questioning techniques inspired by CBT
  • Listing and mapping out the causes of defeat on paper
  • Examples of personal obstacles:
  • Fatigue and physical health
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Emotional overwhelm and stress
  • Shame and self-blame
  • Sense of impossibility
  • Breaking Down Barriers and Theme Identification
  • Categorising specific reasons for defeat
  • Writing actionable notes beside each challenge
  • Strategies for managing each obstacle:
  • Sleep hygiene and physical health maintenance
  • Working on self-compassion and challenging self-blame
  • Supporting concentration and mental health through self-care
  • Trial and error with productivity and to-do lists
  • Coping with Overwhelm
  • Recognising overwhelm as a rational but paralysing response
  • Techniques for reducing overwhelm:
  • Breaking tasks into tiny, actionable steps
  • Focusing on achievable mini-goals
  • Reframing "impossible" goals into manageable actions
  • Addressing Stress
  • How personal and environmental stress feeds into defeat
  • Practical strategies:
  • Tackling smaller, actionable tasks to relieve work/personal stress
  • Honest communication with peers, family, and colleagues about overwhelm
  • Accepting that some sources of stress require long-term coping rather than immediate solutions
  • Tackling the Sense of Impossibility
  • Recognising the vagueness of the feeling
  • Returning to self-analysis to clarify what specifically feels impossible
  • Using accumulated small improvements to chip away at the larger sense of defeat
  • Dealing with Overwhelm and Taking Breaks
  • Granting oneself intentional breaks to refresh perspective without guilt
  • Comparing dehoarding effort to the need for breaks in work life
  • Re-evaluating Plans and Expectations
  • Assessing the effectiveness of current strategies and goals
  • Adapting goals to current capacity and circumstances
  • Seeking external feedback and community support
  • The Importance of Support Systems
  • Nurturing and expanding support from peers, professionals, and loved ones
  • Recognising where additional support is needed
  • Celebrating Small Wins
  • The importance of acknowledging tiny victories
  • Suggestions for gentle self-recognition and reward
  • Recording achievements for self-motivation

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