That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

#179 How hoarding behaviours develop and early intervention for hoarding disorder, with Dr Victoria Ruby-Granger

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In this episode, I'm chatting with Dr. Victoria Ruby-Granger, a psychologist at De Montfort University who has researched how hoarding behaviours develop and the potential for early intervention. We explore the importance of looking beyond physical clutter to understand what possessions mean for those with hoarding tendencies and discuss the role of trauma, loss and life transitions. Plus, we touch on the challenges and potential pathways for early intervention in children and young people.
Dr. Victoria Ruby-Granger's Path to Studying Hoarding
Influence of TV programmes about hoarding.
Curiosity about the development of hoarding behaviours.
Research on Hoarding Behaviours and Childhood
Discussion on hoarding behaviours beginning in childhood or adolescence.
Experiences shared by research participants.
Understanding 'Struggling to Manage'
Explanation of the concept derived from research.
Methods used by Dr. Victoria Ruby-Granger in her research.
Qualitative study and grounded theory methodology.
Patterns of Hoarding Development
Managing possessions and life.
Emotional attachments and meanings of possessions.
Impact of life transitions on hoarding behaviour.
Overcoming Hoarding Challenges
Importance of support beyond possessions
Identity and functioning challenges for individuals with hoarding disorder.
Early Intervention in Hoarding
Difficulty in identifying people who need early intervention.
Importance of awareness and understanding childhood behaviours.
Diagnostic Criteria and Support Challenges
Discussion on current diagnostic criteria for hoarding disorder.
Difficulties in accessing support without a diagnosis.
Potential Patterns and Findings in Dr. Victoria Ruby-Granger's Research
Emotional attachments and decision-making reluctance.
Preferences for discarding possessions through certain methods.
Advice for Parents about children showing hoarding behaviours
Recommendations for parents of children displaying hoarding-related behaviours.
Importance of communication and understanding the emotional meanings attached to items.
Emphasis on trauma and loss in hoarding behaviours.
Importance of understanding personal experiences in hoarding

#178 Growing up in a hoarded home: Sam’s story as the child of a Mum who hoards

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In this episode I chat with Sam, who speaks movingly about growing up with a mother who hoards. Now 28, Sam reflects on the claustrophobic environment, the impact on their self-esteem and organisation, and the ongoing journey to rebuild a relationship with food, space, and self-worth. Whether you're a hoarder, the child of somebody who hoards, or you know someone who is, Sam's story offers a vital perspective on living through - and beyond - the hoard.
Sam’s experience growing up in a hoarded home
Importance of understanding perspectives of those affected by hoarding
Sam’s Childhood Experience
Description of upbringing in a hoarded home
Emotional impact and feelings of claustrophobia and anxiety
Lack of emotional and physical space
Experiences of shame and comparison with peers
Coping Mechanisms and Effects on Daily Life
Sam's view of their home as an obstacle course
Impact of hoarding on family relationships
Lack of privacy and its influence on personal development
Impact on Self-Esteem and Mental Health
Struggle with self-esteem and self-care
Connection between environment and depression
Feelings of negativity and isolation
School and Social Interactions
Effect on academic performance and organisational skills
Challenges in completing schoolwork
Experiences with friends visiting the home and related anxieties
Adolescence and Growing Awareness
Anger and frustration during teenage years
Lack of external intervention and support
Missed opportunities for professional help
External Perception and Professional Insight
Outside family and societal perceptions of hoarding
Drip-feeding experiences to others and feeling of overwhelming others
Relationship with Food and Nutrition
Negative perceptions of food due to spoiling and smells
Ongoing struggle with eating certain foods, particularly fruit
Rebuilding a relationship with food as an adult
Leaving the Home and Independence
Sam’s experience and decision to move out at 20
Challenges and processes involved in leaving the parental hoarded home
Continued responsibilities in a second hoarded home
Long-term Effects on Sam’s Adult Life
Influence on career choice and support work with young carers
Ongoing challenges with personal organisation and self-care
Struggles with mental health and burnout
Sam’s Relationship with Family
Complex relationship dynamics with parents
Lack of understanding from parents regarding Sam’s struggles and decisions
Reflection on parental insight into hoarding and its effects on family
Current Relationship with Hoarding and Cleaning
Sam’s approach to possessions
Emotional responses to cleaning and organising tasks
Developing the skillset for maintaining an organised living space
Message for Others Experiencing Similar Situations
Encouragement for other young carers and children of hoarders
Importance of self-worth and identity outside of hoarding stigmas
Strategies for mental health and personal growth
Final Thoughts and Reflections
Reflections on how sharing and exploration helps understanding
Hope for the interview to be beneficial to listeners with similar experiences

#177 11 unexpected things this podcast has taught me about mistakes, life, perfectionism and progress

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Today, I'm reflecting on 11 unexpected lessons I've picked up since starting this podcast, which go beyond just understanding hoarding disorder. From learning the power of showing progress rather than perfection, to discovering the benefits of stepping out of my comfort zone, I'll share insights that have influenced not just my journey with hoarding, but life as a whole.
Let's see how the themes of mistakes, progress, and learning can apply to anyone seeking positive change.
Importance of showing progress instead of aiming for perfection
Personal struggle with early episodes and progression over time
Decision to keep early episodes live as a reflection of journey and growth
Examining Contradictions
Realisation of contradictions in personal life versus podcasting
Applying podcast editing philosophy to home tidying
Capabilities and Achievements
Realisation of being able to do things previously thought impossible
Learning from incremental progress and its application to life
Comfort Zones
Exploring stepping outside of comfort zones
The rewards of nudging the edges and expanding comfort zones slowly
Learning and Growth
Starting from minimal knowledge and continuously learning
Academic engagement and gaining comprehensive understanding
Sticking to a Routine
Maintaining a consistent schedule and routine with the podcast
Role of accountability and motivation in sticking to a routine
Adaptability and Change
Ability to learn, adapt, and tweak processes over time
Application of flexibility learned from podcasting to personal life
Community and Accountability
Impact of accountability and community support on podcasting and life
Building mutual support through interactions and feedback
Facing Mistakes and Reality
Embracing mistakes and authenticity rather than striving for flawlessness
Shifting perspective on self-perceived failures
Respect and Compassion from Others
Receiving respect from guests and listeners despite personal doubts
Impact on self-compassion and self-respect
Transferability of Learning
Applying lessons learned in podcasting to other areas of life
Recognising that growth in one area can benefit others
Reflections on the transformative impact of the podcast on life
Encouragement to pursue growth and new experiences beyond direct goals

#176 What to do with clothes when we lose or gain weight (with absolutely NO diet-culture talk!): practical tips for dealing with size fluctuations without clutter

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Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ 
In today's episode, I talk about the practical challenges of handling clothes when losing or gaining weight, without promoting or criticising body size changes – this is a diet-culture free zone! I look at the emotional, nostalgic, and practical hurdles in letting go of clothes that no longer fit and offer advice on maintaining a well-balanced wardrobe while managing current size transitions. Like, what do we buy in our new size?! Plus, I'll provide practical tips on selling or donating old clothes and how to avoid over-accumulating in your new size.
Handling Clothes When Gaining or Losing Weight
Experience with Weight Fluctuation
Emotional and Practical Challenges of Clothes That No Longer Fit
Challenges of Discarding Clothes
Emotional Attachment to Clothes
Difficulty in Letting Go of Clothes with Memories or Associations
Factors Influencing the Decision to Keep or Discard Clothes
Potential Future Weight Fluctuations
Emotional Attachments
The Sunk Cost Fallacy
Guilt About Waste
Strategies for Managing Clothes When Weight Changes
Building the Dehoarding Muscle
Selling vs. Donating Clothes
Setting Parameters for Clothing Storage
Practical Solutions for Current Clothing Needs
Shopping Your Own Stuff
Gradual Replacement Strategy
Mindful Purchasing Decisions
The Liberating Aspects of Letting Go of Clothes

#175 Taking the scary first steps: the courage to call a professional organiser, with Jasmine Sleigh

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In this episode, I'm joined by Jasmine Sleigh, professional declutterer, as we discuss the daunting first steps of reaching out for professional help in tackling hoarding. Jasmine shares insights into what prompts individuals to make that initial call and the courage it takes, alongside practical strategies for working with organisers. Tune in for a thoughtful conversation on overcoming fears and building trust for positive change in managing clutter.
Inviting Professional Help
Jasmine explains common motivators for people to seek help
Specific incidents or realisations prompting action
Example scenarios like misplaced items or repairs
The Initial Call to a Professional Organiser
What typically prompts the call for professional help
Jasmine's perspective on admiration for those who reach out
The importance of taking calls seriously and with empathy
Engaging with Potential Clients
Approach to initial conversations with potential clients
Building trust and understanding the client's situation
Establishing client needs and potential outcomes
Assessing the Client’s Home
How Jasmine gathers information about the client's home
Importance of assessing without judgment
Considering client interaction with their items and living space
Professional Organiser-Client Dynamics
Respecting clients’ preferences and leading decisions
Balancing professional insight with client autonomy
Working towards the client's goals and priorities
Process from Inquiry to Working Together
Steps from initial inquiry to in-home visit
Managing client expectations and realities
Ensuring client comfort and readiness
In-Home Visit Experience
Jasmine’s mindset and approach during a home visit
Avoiding overwhelm and maintaining professionalism
Logistical and emotional assessments of the client’s environment
Judgment and Perception in the Decluttering Process
Being conscious of non-verbal cues and judgments perceived by clients
Strategies for maintaining client comfort and trust
Determining Fit and Referrals
Assessing fit between client and professional organiser
Referring clients to other professionals when appropriate
Dealing with Client Motivations and External Pressures
Addressing clients seeking help due to external pressures
Finding a balance between urgency and client readiness
Ensuring Positive Outcomes and Encouraging Future Engagement
Creating a sense of achievement for the client
Fostering positive experiences to encourage future self-help
Challenges and Responsibilities of Professional Organisers
Ethical responsibilities and managing client expectations
Building trust for effective collaboration
Personal Reflections and Habits for Mental Health
Jasmine shares personal habits that support her mental health
Reflection on the importance of reading and self-care activities

#174 How to feel grounded when we're overwhelmed or dysregulated using ventral vagal spaces and touchstones, with Dr Jan Eppingstall

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Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ 
In today's episode, Dr Jan Eppingstall and I explore how to create a ventral vagal space or touchstone to help us regulate our emotions, drawing inspiration from the work of Deb Dana and polyvagal theory. We look at how we can find or create areas within our home, and objects we can use on the go, that provide safety and connection, allowing us to feel grounded and manage overwhelming moments. We'll look at the emotional significance of objects, avoiding those that glower at us, and instead creating spaces filled with comfort and warmth.
Creating Your Own Ventral Vagal Space
Permission Slip segment
Discussion about photographic portraits
Emotions associated with the portraits
Objects as Memories
Significant memories vs. happy memories
Harriet Impey's notion of "glowering" objects
Emotional Impact of Objects
Portraits as a reminder of insecurity
Ventral Vagal Space Concept
Use of Deb Dana's work in polyvagal theory
Connection between emotional safety and physical space
Explanation of Polyvagal Theory
Breakdown of the nervous system's stages: ventral vagal, sympathetic, and dorsal vagal
Relevance of Polyvagal Theory to Hoarding
Trauma and its relation to object attachment
Challenges of decision-making in a cluttered environment
Deb Dana's Home Analogy - Comparison of home systems to body's autonomic systems
Integration needed for a "full life" and connection
Practical Application of Ventral Vagal Spaces
Creating nourishing home spaces
Abundance
Importance of Touchstones
Explanation and significance of touchstones
Examples of personal or portable calming items
Creating a Ventral Vagal Space or Touchstone
Starting small by identifying objects that bring safety and contentment
Using childhood memories to influence current safe spaces
Applications and Benefits
Using the space for emotional regulation
Touchstones as portable reminders of safety
Recognising objects that already serve as touchstones
Importance of awareness and observation in identifying touchstones
Utilising Resources for Grounding
Examples of resources: lava lamps, messages, certain sounds
Strategies for implementing these resources in daily life
 

#173 9 things that are working for me when tackling hoarding and over-acquiring right now

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In today's episode, I'm sharing nine strategies that are making a real difference in managing my hoarding behaviour and curbing over-acquiring right now. From tricks to overcome perfectionism and opening a daunting pile of letters to finding support in unexpected places and even leveraging a cute app, these tactics are moving me forward.
Join me as I lay out what's working, in the hope it sparks a few ideas for you too.
Opening 100 unopened letters
Overcoming fear and procrastination
Sorting coins and dealing with obsolete items
Decision-making process in letting go
Recognising dehoarding as self-kindness, not punishment
Benefits of having a friend who knows the hoarding situation
Managing perfectionism and doing things imperfectly
Using the "hummingbird method" for tasks
Introduction and use of the Finch app for self-care
Using virtual assistants for task reminders
Success with excessive mug collection and food cupboards
Impact of the documentary "Buy Now" on purchasing habits
Changing relationship with the inner critic
Overcoming Mail Anxiety Milestone
Kindness, Not Chore
Embrace Imperfection for Future Growth
Hands-Free Task Management
Best-before dates at the start of the year
Consumerism Documentary
Curbing Instant Gratification

#172 Harriet Impey on clearing out her parents’ very full home, through family belongings and personal growth, in the film Where Dragons Live

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Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ 
In today's episode, I chat with Harriet Impey about the complex process of clearing out her parents' cluttered house after their deaths. From unusual family rules to emotional ties with objects, we cover how Harriet navigated the challenges of sorting belongings, her family dynamics, and the personal growth she experienced along the way navigating emotional landscapes.
We also talk about whether her parents hoarded and how their relationship with their stuff has affected her relationship with her stuff. Plus, we discuss the importance of letting go, embracing mindfulness, and the transformative power of therapy.
Trailer: Where Dragons Live: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2ARgzYZei8 
Growing up in a cluttered house and realisation later in life
Harriet's mother's attachment to objects and possible hoarding
Influence of family habits on personal behaviour
Relationships and Emotional Awareness
Harriet's journey towards emotional awareness and accepting imperfections
Importance of recognising complex feelings
Managing fear of arguments and expressing anger
Using Objects Instead of Saving Them
Harriet's family preference for keeping items "too special to use"
Transition to using these items with joy
Family Dynamics and Emotional Suppression
Differences in attitudes towards possessions among Harriet and her siblings
Parents' contrasting approaches to objects
Impact of her mother's anxiety on household rules and behavior
Clearing Out Parents' Home
Harriet's responsibility in sorting through parental belongings
Emotional impact of dealing with deceased person's possessions
Reference to "Swedish Death Cleaning"
Importance of considerate item management
Therapy and Self-Reflection
Harriet's 20 years of therapy and its impact
The influence of therapy on personal happiness and self-awareness
Learning to be less rigid in life
Managing and Letting Go of Belongings
Evaluating the necessity of keeping certain belongings
Mindfulness and Mental Health
Mindful self-compassion and ACT
The filming of "Where Dragons Live"
The dual charm and burden of the family home
Personal Experiences and Family Impact

#171 Hi Ren: How a song dramatically changed my approach to my inner critic

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Podcast show notes, links and transcript: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-171-hi-ren-the-song-that-dramatically-changed-my-approach-to-my-inner-critic/  
In this episode, I discuss Ren's song "Hi Ren," a mind-blowing exploration of inner conflict that blows apart ideas about the balance between darkness and light within us all. We'll unpack Ren's introspective lyrics, which explore themes like mental illness and creativity, and consider his take on life and what we can learn from it. I share how this song's impact has resonated with my own journey in dealing with grief and the inner critic.
Watch the original song by Ren here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_nc1IVoMxc&pp=ygUGaGkgcmVu 
Impact of "Hi Ren" by Ren Gill on my life
Relation to grief and managing the inner critic
Themes of Strength and Hope
Inner strength and resilience amidst challenges
Inner Conflict
Illness and psychological battles
The pendulum metaphor, advocating acceptance
Universal evil and inner conflict
Dark side as defensive rather than malevolent
Chaos and division as intrinsic parts of self
Identification with 'hope' indicating a shift towards optimism
Life as a Dance
Complexity and humanity over supernatural perfection
Episode contains sensitive topics including swearing, suicide, and mental distress
Song Analysis
Exploration of mental illness and creativity struggles
Connection to personal inner critic experiences
Dialogue between Ren's dark and light personas
Discussion of inner conflict and personal growth
Internal struggle about personal achievements
Dark side's criticism of Ren’s insecurities
Ren’s music achieving 43 million YouTube views
Dark side as a symbol of temptation and negativity
Host's parallel with personal inner critics
Steve Chapman's TED talk on inner critics
Emotional impact of "Hi Ren" song on the host
Dark Ren attacks out of fear and insecurity.
Inner critic misconstrues protection as help.
Inner critic always undermines self-confidence, futile.
Ren's song conveys hope's profound impact.
Embrace change; it's an evolving balance.
Struggling makes us human, imperfect, and relatable.

REMIX: The Art of Letting Go: Navigating emotional clutter blocks with Tracy McCubbin

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Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/