That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

Dehoarding with the seasons: get inspired by nature when everything is overwhelming

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In this episode, I explore how the change of seasons can inspire and motivate dehoarding efforts, with autumn in the northern hemisphere and spring in the southern hemisphere being upon us. Drawing on traditions like harvest festivals and spring cleaning, we'll discuss how nature’s rhythms can support our journey toward a more organised home. Plus, personal insights on managing the emotional challenges of letting go and tips for embracing seasonal transitions as opportunities for growth.
Seasonal Influence on Dehoarding
Autumn Motivation
Mixed feelings: beauty vs. precursor to winter
Harvest festivals: gratitude and inspiration for giving and decluttering
Nesting instincts as a motivational tool for organizing
Spring Motivation
Symbolism of renewal and hope
Growth and change as motivators for overcoming hoarding disorder
Spring cleaning tradition as an opportunity for new beginnings
Emotional Aspects of Decluttering
Acknowledge and understand feelings like overwhelm, anxiety, confusion, and fear
Use emotions to gain self-insight and understand attachment to items
Seek support from therapists, friends, family, or professional organisers
Practical Steps for Dehoarding
Assess possessions when transitioning between seasons
Evaluate practical use of items like blankets and coats
Decluttering inspired by seasonal changes
Focus on small areas to avoid overwhelm
Small, consistent changes over dramatic ones
Set realistic goals for home improvements by New Year
Community and Support
Engage in dehoarding accountability sessions for communal support
Donating items to reduce unnecessary storage
Assess what you want for your home as the year end approaches
Aiming for improvement, maintenance, or worsened state?
Set intentions
Walking, observing nature, and journaling
Creating Rituals and Redefining Comfort
Suggest creating rituals in tune with seasonal changes to aid decluttering
Redefine comfort by reducing clutter rather than accumulating more
Highlight the importance of a comfortable, decluttered space for winter

Just because we want it doesn't mean we have to have it

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Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ 
On this episode, I share my experience from being a guest on Death, Sex & Money with Anna Sale. Then I dig into the idea of wanting things but still choosing not to have them and how it applies to various aspects of life, especially for those of us dealing with hoarding disorder. I’ll discuss how the disorder can distort our perception of items, leading to irrational attachments. I look at how desires often change over time, the unhealthy attachments formed for identity, comfort, or security, and how fear of regret can hinder the decluttering process.
Choosing Not to Have Desired Items
Distortion of item perception in hoarding disorder
Temporary nature of desires
Safety and clutter concerns
Emotional and Irrational Attachments
Understanding and challenging emotional attachments
Exploring reasons for keeping or acquiring items
Addressing “irrational” beliefs
Dealing with fear of regret
Joy from finding things often surpasses regret (Jasmine Sleigh's insight)
Managing regret is possible
Decision-making with clutter in mind
Not Retaining Items for Others
It's not our responsibility to keep items for others
Prioritising personal and familial well-being
Setting boundaries regarding others' potential desires
Feeling loss, fear, sadness, and nostalgia
Acknowledgment and validation of these feelings
Communicating fears and emotions
Recognising and challenging irrational thoughts and feelings
Celebrating small victories without adding more clutter
Liberation and freedom from letting go
Misinterpreting laziness as anxiety
Anxious sloth and decreased productivity

What does "trauma-informed" mean when it comes to hoarding? With Dr Jan Eppingstall

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Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ 
In today’s episode, I’m chatting with Dr. Jan Eppingstall, a Melbourne-based counsellor, about what it means to take a trauma-informed approach to hoarding disorder. Stick around as we break down why understanding trauma is crucial for effective support and treatment.
Trauma-informed approaches to understanding and treating hoarding
Importance of understanding trauma's impact
Concerns about wellbeing inquiries without adequate support preparation
Collaboration in Trauma-Informed Care
Practical Implementation for Non-Therapy Roles**
Incorporate trauma-informed principles
Sensitivity to potential triggers
Misconceptions and Communication
Fear factor surrounding trauma and its treatment
Detailed trauma disclosure unnecessary for effective support
Client Autonomy and Professional Boundaries
Respecting clients' communication preferences
Retraumatisation in Hoarding
Harm of forced clearances and strangers touching possessions
Negative impact of language and actions on hoarders
Respectful Support Practices
Building Trust
Importance of building trust before intervening in a hoarder's space
Ensuring professionals genuinely practice trauma-informed care
Over-explaining as a stress response
Broad approach of trauma-informed care
Factors influencing trauma perception
Trauma Definition
Trauma and Hoarding
Commonality of trauma in hoarding histories
A supportive framework rather than a treatment model
Five Pillars of Trauma-Informed Care
Assuming trauma backgrounds in hoarding behaviour clients
Loss of Control in Trauma
Trauma involves loss of control; care pillars help restore it
Tracking and managing nervous system responses
Importance of recognising client-specific signs
Term misuse by minimally trauma-informed trained professionals
Dangers of Misleading Trauma Informed Claims
Proper understanding of trauma to avoid harm
Non-therapists adopting trauma-informed principles
Importance of feeling present and calm during therapy
Teaching clients to feel safe and grounded
Clear Boundaries in Therapy
Trauma Types and Responses**
Variability of trauma
Explanation of retraumatisation
Managing Retraumatisation

Dehoarding dilemmas: Swallow the frog or save the worst til last?

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In this episode, I look at two major – and opposing – strategies for dehoarding: "swallow the frog," where you handle the toughest task first, and "save the worst till last," which focuses on building confidence with easier tasks. I'll discuss the benefits and drawbacks of each approach and offer tips for blending them to fit your unique needs. Join to learn how to break down the overwhelming task of dehoarding into manageable steps.
Swallowing the Frog
Best when preventing access to essential areas (e.g., cooker, bath).
Tackling tough tasks first can improve home functionality and reduce stress.
Saving the Worst Till the Last
Building confidence in dehoarding.
Tasks that are emotionally charged but less visibly impactful (e.g., old photos).
Utilising both approaches based on emotional resilience and situational needs.
Experimentation with both strategies.
Reflect on personality and typical approaches to difficult tasks.
Planning strategies based on task suitability and personal motivation.
Curiosity and trying different methods.
Observing outcomes and refining methods.
Balancing approaches for optimal dehoarding progress.
Embracing flexible planning and adjusting as needed.
Breaking Down Tasks
Breaking tasks into smaller, manageable steps.
Working for shorter, focused periods with breaks to prevent burnout.
Building Confidence
Addressing easier tasks first to build capability for more challenging tasks.
Sorting manageable items before tackling emotionally difficult possessions.
Mixing both "Swallow the Frog" and "Save the Worst Till Last" strategies.
Examination of the psychological impact of task management.
Discussing mental barriers, procrastination, and overwhelm.
Emphasis on efficiency and making progress to avoid demoralisation.
Strategies to manage overwhelming dehoarding tasks
Identifying the "frog."
Two opposite strategies for handling hard tasks.
Resolve tasks early to minimise stress and discomfort.
Breaking tasks into smaller chunks mitigates overwhelming discouragement.
Starting with easier tasks provides steady motivation.
Procrastination perpetuates stress from avoiding major tasks.
Ease into dehoarding with manageable tasks first.
Try both approaches, observe, adapt, and refine.
Examining two strategies for tackling hard tasks in the context of dehoarding: "swallow the frog" (address tough tasks first) vs. saving the worst for last, focusing on their psychological impact on barriers, procrastination, and efficiency.
Completing tasks alleviates stress and builds momentum for future tasks.
Swallowing the frog can be discouraging if tasks are tougher than expected. Break tasks into smaller chunks to avoid demoralisation. Identify and prioritise your most challenging tasks, such as urgent issues or emotionally taxing items.
Starting with smaller tasks provides steady motivation and achievement, offering quick wins that boost morale and maintain long-term productivity.
Procrastination on the most urgent task causes continuous stress and anxiety, overshadowing achievement of smaller tasks.
Start with moderately hard tasks, gradually advancing to harder tasks over time. Adapt approaches based on task suitability.
Start with easier tasks to build confidence when dehoarding, and save emotionally challenging items for later. Use both approaches as needed based on your situation.
Try both approaches and observe which helps you make the most progress. Keep adapting and refining based on your observations.

Identifying the shopping triggers that create our urge to impulse buy

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In today's episode, I’ll help you identify the triggers that make us want to acquire stuff and how to use that knowledge to combat the urges to buy impulsively. We’ll explore practical strategies like observing urges, delaying reactions, and using distractions to curb impulsive buying. Plus, we’ll uncover the deeper emotional and environmental triggers that drive compulsive shopping and how to address them.
Emotional Triggers
Identifying emotional triggers like stress, sadness, boredom, and anxiety.
Understanding the role of dopamine in shopping behaviours.
Recognising the temporary distraction of shopping from negative emotions.
Environmental Triggers
Discussing how shopping environments stimulate purchases through strategic design.
Marketing tactics designed to exploit spending prompts.
Ecommerce Optimisation
Strategies ecommerce websites use to maximise purchases.
Seamless and tempting buying experiences.
Ease of Access
The convenience and immediacy of online shopping.
Encouraging impulsive purchases through immediate gratification.
Social Triggers
The influence of peer pressure, FOMO, and social validation.
Buying to fit in or earn social approval.
Self-Reflection and Values
Evaluating whether purchases align with personal values.
Seeking meaningful praise beyond materialistic validation.
Journaling as a Tool
Identifying and understanding personal triggers through journaling.
Noting emotions, activities, and feelings before and after purchases.
Pattern Identification
Analysing journal entries to identify shopping patterns and triggers.
Behaviour Change and Avoidance
Adjusting behaviour to avoid known triggers.
Implementing stress management techniques to handle stress-induced shopping.
Mindfulness for Identifying Triggers
Encouraging presence and consciousness in the moment.
Observing sensations, thoughts, and feelings without judgment.
Enhancing self-awareness for deliberate actions.
Observing Urges
Acknowledgment of the urge to buy and sitting with it.
Comparing urges to waves – they rise and fall.
Practicing distress tolerance during unpleasant urges.
Delayed Reaction Technique
Delaying purchase decisions to avoid impulsive buys.
Starting with short delays (e.g. 1 minute) and extending them.
Developing longer periods without giving in to urges over time.
Distraction as a Tool
Engaging in alternative activities.
Contacting friends and talking through the urge.
Reducing immediate impulses through distraction.
Addressing the Root Causes
Focusing on underlying issues (anxiety, depression, boredom).
Pursuing therapy, self-help resources, lifestyle changes, or medical treatment.
Avoiding Triggers
Avoiding people or environments that encourage unnecessary shopping.
Finding alternatives to shopping activities.
Shopping in places that minimise impulse-buying triggers.
Complexity and Difficulty
Acknowledging the multifaceted nature of combating buying urges.
Recognising triggers and managing urges requires effort and practice.
Host’s personal experiences with guilt and shame from compulsive buying.
Discussing the financial strain and relationship stress caused by impulsive purchases.
Emphasising the mental and emotional health impacts.
Impulsive shopping causes financial and relationship stress.
Emotional triggers can lead to impulsive shopping.
Awareness of emotions can reduce impulsive shopping.
External triggers and dopamine drive impulsive buying.
Question purchases' true value.
Praise for values is deeper than material praise.
Mindfulness helps identify triggers by observing sensations.
Address anxiety holistically, considering therapy and lifestyle.
Avoid triggers to reduce compulsive buying impulses.
September's update for Dehoarding Darlings includes extras and a Q&A with Jan. Sign up at overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/darling.
Bi-monthly dehoarding Zoom sessions: Sunday evenings (UK), Friday mornings (UK).
Impulsive shopping causes financial and relationship stress, guilt, and clutter. Today's episode explores triggers to address and mitigate these issues.
Emotional triggers like stress, boredom, sadness, and anxiety can lead to impulse shopping as a temporary escape, though this often results in further stress due to added clutter and financial strain.
Awareness of evening fatigue helped me stop shopping out of boredom or anxiety. Recognising emotional triggers can prevent impulsive purchases.
Marketing and environmental triggers compel people to buy impulsively for dopamine hits, involving extensive research.
It feels great to get social validation from buying items, but it's worth questioning if possessions define our identity and relationships.
Identify triggers for impulsive buying through self-reflection and journaling to align purchases with personal values.
Mindfulness helps identify triggers by being present, aware of feelings, sensations, and thoughts, leading to greater self-awareness and deliberate actions.
Address anxiety and depression through therapy, lifestyle changes, and avoiding triggers, rather than impulsive shopping.
Avoid environments that trigger unnecessary shopping to break the habit. Find alternatives like meeting friends in different places or shopping online.

Self-stigma and hoarding with Dr Jan Eppingstall

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Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ 
In this episode, Dr. Jan Eppingstall and I are exploring the impact of self-stigma and societal responsibility in hoarding. We look in depth at stigma and how it affects individuals with mental health conditions, especially hoarding disorder, and how self-stigma can damage us and prevent us from seeking help. Plus, we introduce a new segment — "permission slip". Stay tuned for some outtakes at the end!
Impact of Public Stigma and Self-Stigma
Dr. Jan Eppingstall explains public stigma, including stereotypes, prejudice, and discrimination
Key facets of public stigma: difference, disdain, and blame
Understanding Self-Stigma and Public Stigma
How stereotypes can affect self-stigma, using people's reactions to TV shows as an example
The implications of self-stigma, including low self-esteem, hopelessness, and reluctance to seek treatment
The interlinking of public stigma, self-stigma, shame, and self-consciousness, as well as self-blame and the impact of self-stigma on seeking help
Variation in mental illness stereotypes by disorder
Introduction of the "permission slip" segment
Discussion on the compulsion to keep things and the completionist mindset
Influence of Socioeconomic Status on Mental Illness Stigma
Conversation about the perception of hoarding based on socioeconomic status and the value of items being kept
Comparison of hoarding in different contexts: ample space and financial means versus living in a cramped environment
Impact of space and wealth on hoarding, highlighted through a documentary about Celine Dion and her extensive costume collection
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) in Addressing Self-Stigma
Dr. Eppingstall outlines the ACT approach, focusing on personal values and psychoeducation on relational frame theory to address self-stigma
Cognitive behavioural therapy techniques like reframing and peer support groups to combat self-stigma, as well as radical acceptance through a 10-step process
Influence of Cultural Beliefs and Social Factors on Stigma
Discussion of the influence of cultural beliefs on mental illness stigma, including the impact of social factors on self-stigmatisation
Protective factors against self-stigmatisation: quality of life, social relationships, and cultural acceptance of mental illness
The impact of societal influences on self-stigma and the importance of understanding one's thought patterns without trying to banish them
External stigma's potential influence on self-stigma, with a suggestion that marginalised individuals facing more external stigma might be more susceptible to self-stigmatisation
Internalised social stigma leads to negative self-concept.
Self-stigma affects help-seeking behaviours negatively.
Questioning stigmatisation and hoarding in media.
Cultural stigma influences self-stigmatisation of mental illness.
Communities’ response to mental illness.
Self-stigma's impact varies based on individual factors.
Internalised stigma is the acceptance of negative societal stereotypes.
Self-stigma creates harm, deters seeking help.
Reflection on hoarding stigma and societal perceptions.
Public stigma in different cultures affects self-stigmatisation and attitudes toward mental illness and treatment.
Reflecting on community's approach to mental illness and its impact on self-stigma.
Practicing radical acceptance, using self-acceptance talk and behaviour changes to move forward.
Self-stigma affects people differently based on various factors such as personality, upbringing, and society. Different societies can influence how people perceive and react to self-stigma.
 

We don't need to love it. We just need to do it.

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Podcast show notes, links and transcript: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-154-we-dont-need-to-love-it-we-just-need-to-do-it/ 
Today, I explore the reality of dehoarding. From the thrilling sense of accomplishment to the mundane, hard, and sometimes emotionally difficult aspects, I cover it all. Join me as I discuss the ups and downs of the journey and why loving the process isn't a requirement - getting it done is what counts.
The Importance of Persistence and Commitment in Dehoarding
The need to keep going even when it's not thrilling or empowering
Embracing the mundane and boring aspects of dehoarding
Understanding that progress is more important than loving every moment of the process
Recognising that dehoarding can include both rewarding and difficult experiences
Using reminders of the end goal to cope with the challenging days
Compassion and Self-Care in the Dehoarding Process
Embracing self-compassion during difficult dehoarding days
Utilising self-care practices as a way to cope with the process
Understanding the importance of acknowledging and validating difficult experiences
Acknowledging the necessity of perseverance and consistent effort in dehoarding
Coping with Mundane and Monotonous Aspects of Dehoarding
Recognising the importance of routine in the dehoarding process
Strategies and techniques to cope with monotony and boring tasks
Understanding the difference between emotional highs and lows, and coping with routine tasks
Utilising rewards and mindful strategies to cope with tedious dehoarding tasks
Redefining Success in Dehoarding
Understanding that success is measured by effort, home improvement, and personal pride
Acknowledging that dehoarding progress is not always thrilling or enjoyable
Embracing that progress is still progress, regardless of its size or level of excitement
Challenging unrealistic expectations set by influencers and social media about dehoarding
Action and Commitment Despite Feelings Towards Dehoarding
Encouragement to take at least one step in the right direction, regardless of loving the process
Embracing the idea that it's okay not to love dehoarding every minute
Recognising that commitment to dehoarding is a significant achievement in itself
Affirming the capability to create a space one feels at home in, despite the ups and downs of the journey
Dehoarding doesn't have to feel thrilling.
Difficulties come, but remember your purpose.
Feeling overwhelmed is normal during the decluttering process, but progress matters more than celebrating every step.
Self-care involves activities like hot baths, TV time, and walks, paired with self-compassion to be effective.
Reward self, be mindful, focus on present, seek support, value effort over success.
Embrace the journey, take steps forward.

Making a noticeable difference: Master the 80/20 rule to tame your hoarding habits

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In today's episode, I look at how the Pareto Principle, also known as the 80/20 rule, can revolutionise our approach to decluttering. I discuss how focusing on the 20% of our possessions that cause 80% of our problems can lead to more impactful change with less effort, and how identifying the 20% of tasks that show the biggest results can help us to manage our energy and make visible progress. Join me as I break down this principle and explore how it can transform our mindset and approach to dehoarding.
Introduction to the Pareto Principle
Explanation of the Pareto Principle or the 80/20 rule
Relevance of the Pareto Principle to hoarding and home management
Impact of focusing on the 20% causing the most problems
Identifying Impactful Tasks and Items
The impact of expending energy on low-level tasks
Importance of prioritising impactful tasks for noticeable change
Making a dent in belongings by focusing on impactful items
Brief history of Vilfredo Pareto and his observation
Various contexts where the Pareto Principle is seen to apply
Validation of the principle in different areas
Applying the Pareto Principle to Your Home
Strategic thinking in identifying items causing disruption
Identifying 20% of belongings used most often
Energy expenditure and impact of dehoarding actions
Emotional Attachment & Rational Decision Making
Emotional connection to belongings
Encouraging rational assessment of belongings' value
The role of emotions in retaining or discarding items
Reassessing and Ongoing Vigilance
Need for ongoing reassessment as space is cleared
Importance of reassessing the 20% causing problems
Frequency of reassessment and calibrating belongings
Reflecting on the impact of the 80/20 rule in home management
Pareto principle for hoarders.
Pareto principle: 20% effort, 80% results.
Reframe, prioritise, and declutter for efficient living.
Identify essential items, discard unnecessary possessions strategically.
Identify unnecessary items to make life easier.
Reevaluate possessions and focus energy efficiently.
Use the Pareto principle to focus on tasks with high impact.
Identify and declutter items for a noticeable ease in daily life; use the 80/20 rule for organising and resolving space issues.
Reassess belongings, focus on what matters.

Unpacking Aesop: Misunderstood lessons from The Tortoise and the Hare on hoarding

I look at an old fable from when I was little and how I’ve changed my view on it completely. And, of course, how it relates to hoarding – and dehoarding.
Acknowledging reaching 250,000 downloads for the podcast
Dehoarding fast vs. slow and steady approach
The benefits of dehoarding fast
Getting a lot done in a short time
Responding to emergency situations
Harnessing sudden bursts of motivation
The risks of dehoarding fast
Burnout
Impracticality of sustaining a fast pace in the long term
Emphasising the importance of finding a balance between fast and slow dehoarding
Acknowledging the benefits and drawbacks of both approaches
The significance of Aesop's fable "The Hare and the Tortoise"
Initial scepticism about the fable
Understanding the importance of perseverance and consistency over speed
Drawing parallels between the fable and dehoarding
Primary Topic: Slow and steady work for dehoarding
Sustained approach for dehoarding the entire home
Making habits or new behaviours stick and become habitual
Enhancing slow progress with focus and documentation
Achieving objective progress through slow and steady work
Suitability for long-term planning and sustainable change in behaviours and beliefs
Riding the wave when the urge to throw into action arises
Recognising when to work fast
Potential drawbacks leading to complacency or exhaustion
Balancing fast and slow dehoarding approaches
Finding a balance for effective and sustainable progress
Avoiding the pitfalls of extremes in dehoarding approaches
Fast action can be encouraging and valuable.
Sustainable pace fosters effective dehoarding.
Slow, steady progress towards a liveable home.

An amnesty on discarding guilt - is it possible? With Dr Jan Eppingstall

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Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ 
Dr Jan Eppingstall has had an idea, and it is as revolutionary as it is terrifying. We talk about it!
Shifting focus from individual items to the bigger picture
Creating a guilt-free zone for a limited time to honour values and experience more joy and fun in the future
Putting aside certain values temporarily to create better conditions for the future
Introduction of the concept of "household equilibrium"
Understanding the emotional attachment to possessions based on lived experiences
Behavioural and Emotional Aspects of Discarding Items
Reluctance to discard out-of-date food due to guilt and fear of waste
Emotional connection to possessions and the importance of using them
Encouraging the usage and enjoyment of possessions
Trauma-focused approach to discarding clutter
Coping with the guilt and shame around wastefulness
Making difficult decisions about discarding items
Exposure to letting go and small, less risky decluttering tasks
Letting go of controlling outcomes and focusing on wellbeing over perfect disposal
Starting with low-risk categories when decluttering, such as wrapping paper
Prove that terrible things do not happen when decluttering
The importance of proportionality in the decluttering process
Children's Belongings and Autonomy in Decluttering
Clear guidelines for disposing of belongings that are not yours
Contacting owners to collect items, especially for children's belongings
Revisiting keepsakes periodically to reassess their importance
Respecting children's decisions about their belongings
Navigating the decluttering process with understanding and sensitivity
Creating a Safe and Comfortable Living Environment
Implementing an amnesty on existing rules and guidelines
Suspending the acquisition of new items to keep the space in equilibrium
Allowing space for new interests and hobbies to enter one's life without guilt
Desire for perfection leads to unnecessary clutter.
Temporary pause for a more balanced life.
Stay safe and open to new experiences.
Encouraging use of gorgeous clothes in daily life.
Helping people cope with guilt and clutter to prioritise their well-being.
Desire for perfection in decision making and finding balance.
Some people value frugality but need to let go sometimes.
Focus on physical safety, declutter for new hobbies, no guilt.
Facing fears leads to growth and relief from guilt.
Recommendation to limit exposure to items and practice letting go to avoid regret.
Encourage using and enjoying clothes, shoes.
Expressing love for a cherished mug.